Adopted Children are Loved just as Much as Natural Born Children

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and live with my parents and brother. Sometimes I get the feeling that my parents love my brother more than me. I've talked to my parents, but they assure me that they love both of us equally; their main goals in life include making sure we both become good citizens who are happy and who enjoy life.

I'm not quite sure why I feel this way. It could be that boys are treated a little differently than girls, or that my brother is their natural child while I am their adopted daughter. My parents are wonderful and since I am adopted, I couldn't have landed with a better family. Still, I have moments where I feel like an outsider.

Is there any way I can overcome this occasional inferior feeling? — Nameless, Vicksburg, Miss.

NAMELESS: It's completely normal for adopted children to wonder if their parents love them as much as they love their natural born children. I can tell you that I have never found parents who give less love to an adopted son or daughter.

Please read the following letter written by a mom who is blessed with having both adoptive and biological children. I'm positive your mom and dad have the same feelings.

DR. WALLACE: We are the parents of two adopted children (a boy and a girl) and one biological child (a boy).

One day, the son who was adopted asked me if my husband and I loved him and his adopted sister as much as our biological son. I put my arms around him and told him that I couldn't love a human being more than I love him. Both of us wound up crying tears of joy.

I can honestly say that my husband and I love our three children equally. In fact, it is rare when we even think of them as "adoptive" or "biological" children. Together, we are a loving family and intend to keep it that way forever. I thank the Good Lord that He blessed my husband and me with both biological and adopted children as well. Our three children are the loves of our lives. - Mom, Rock Island, Ill.

MOM: No one can say it better than a loving mom. Your message will make many adopted kids feel good about their parents.

DAD OVERREACTS WHEN TEEN COMES HOME LATE

DR. WALLACE: Last week my boyfriend and I went to a movie; we arrived home an hour later than my 11 p.m. curfew because the movie was long. I realize I should have called from the theater to let my parents know that I was going to be home late, but the movie was so good that I became engrossed and just forgot.

When I got home, my dad was furious. He pulled me by the hair and shoved me into my bedroom. Now I'm on restriction for six months and not allowed to see or talk with my boyfriend for one year. My boyfriend and I are good kids. We are both on the honor roll and not involved in alcohol, tobacco or drugs.

I think my punishment is much too severe for coming home one hour late. I'd like your opinion, please. — Nameless, Benton Harbor, Mich.

NAMELESS: You were wrong in not calling your parents and asking for an hour's extension, but your father was doubly wrong! First, he should not have pulled your hair and shoved you into your bedroom. Next, he overreacted on your punishment.

Let's hope he calms down. He should not only decrease your restrictions, but also needs to apologize for his unacceptable behavior.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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