2008-12-12
It was 13 years
ago that O.J.
Simpson was
acquitted in the
stabbing murders
of his wife,
Nicole, and
waiter Ron
Goldman, two
grizzly deaths
for which he was
most certainly
responsible.
On Dec. 5,
Simpson was
sentenced to at
least nine years
in a Nevada
prison for a Las
Vegas robbery
attempt of what
he claimed was
his own sports
memorabilia.
We live in a
crazy world, and
the
shamelessness
never ends for
Simpson: On the
same day he was
sentenced,
Xtreme
Entertainment
Group (XEG)
announced they
would be selling
a new comedy DVD
starring Simpson
called "Juiced!"
It's one of
those stories
(or press
releases) that
you want to keep
thinking is a
horrible joke,
but the video is
for sale on the
Internet.
Rolling Stone
reports Simpson
is performing in
his first-ever "gangsta
rap" video
entitled "Get
Juiced,"
complete with
inane lyrics
like "Don't you
know there's no
stopping the
Juice/When I'm
on the floor I'm
like a lion on
the loose/Better
shoot me with a
tranquilizer
dart/Don't be
stupid, I'm not
a Simpson named
Bart."
Obviously
Simpson is no
longer on the
loose. But his
"comedy" video
bottom-feeders
remain at large,
and are
accepting Visa,
MasterCard,
Discover and
American
Express.
XEG's press
release boasts
Simpson plays a
gangsta rapper
"holding
ruthless
auditions for
his new hit song
'Get Juiced' at
a sex-crazed
strip club."
They dangle the
final edit of
"this
controversial,
hard-hitting and
powerful rap"
with "DJ Juice"
surrounded by
half-naked
burlesque
dancers as the
reward for
buying the
Special Deluxe
Edition "Juiced"
DVD. The website
shows gyrating
women with
"Censored"
across their
private parts.
The bad taste
knows no bounds
for XEG and
Simpson, as they
play his infamy
for giggles and
lamely ape MTV's
"Candid Camera"
update called "Punk'd."
In one skit,
O.J. plays "an
unctuous used
car salesman
trying to peddle
an infamous
white Bronco
with an
'authentic'
bullet hole
touting the
vehicle's 'escapability'
feature to
prospective
buyers." He
promises there
are "no bodies"
inside.
Can Simpson's
violence be
played for
laughs? XEG
thinks so:
"Witness O.J.
Simpson caught
'cheating' with
another man's
fiancee in a
seedy motel
before a
confrontation
ensues,
resulting in a
heart-pounding
domestic
disturbance that
will leave you
breathless!"
They also
promise "we see
O.J. and a
nine-iron
dealing with the
paparazzi during
an extraordinary
golf game." They
suggested the
photographer is
"almost
decapitated."
Ring a bell?
If that doesn't
exactly sound
like promising
comedy, imagine
O.J. Simpson
arriving at your
door as the
pizza delivery
guy, "with your
half-eaten order
— who then tries
to steal your
change." If he's
arriving with
two thugs
holding guns,
then it's way
too close to
reality.
XEG also plays
Simpson's latest
Las Vegas infamy
for laughs.
Vegas tourists
find themselves
"serenaded" by
O.J. dressed up
as an Elvis
impersonator,
complete with a
"mini-Elvis
midget
sidekick."
Simpson's race
is also part of
the joke in
"another
hilarious,
albeit
uncomfortable
sequence, as
O.J. is secretly
disguised as an
elderly,
foul-mouthed,
Caucasian bingo
caller at a
senior center."
On ABC, the
late-night
"Jimmy Kimmel
Live!" did their
parody of this
parody, having
the
fake-Caucasian
O.J. put down on
a banana peel
and stab the man
who slipped on
it. That's not
very funny
either, but at
least it
underlines the
sickness it's
ridiculing.
The scummy
impresario
behind this
horrible product
is XEG founder
Rick Mahr, who
began his video
career by
filming violent
backyard-wrestling
matches. He
branched out
from there to a
"World's
Wildest" series
— "World's
Wildest College
Parties,"
"World's Wildest
Bachelor
Parties" and
"World's Wildest
Street Fights"
(which included
"Ghetto Brawls"
and "Brawling
Broads").
Mahr's latest
non-Simpson
video is called
"Street Anarchy:
Knuckle Up." He
promises
viewers, "here
comes the most
sadistic,
no-holds-barred,
totally
uncensored
street fight
compilation ever
caught on tape!!
No rules. No
referees. No way
out! ... [G]et
prepared to
witness the most
brutally
entertaining
non-stop ruckus
video you will
ever see!!"
The "Juiced"
video of Simpson
would also
qualify as a
most sadistic
product, and in
a moral if not a
legal sense,
ought to have
all its profits
diverted to pay
Simpson's
judgment in the
civil suit filed
by the Goldman
family. There's
been no
reporting on
whether Simpson
was paid for all
of his stunt
work. Why else
would he do it?
This kind of
sick moneymaking
scheme is
exactly the kind
of offense that
generated the
"Son of Sam"
laws: to impose
some fraction of
justice to
buckrakers
who've displayed
no conscience at
all.
L. Brent
Bozell III is
the president of
the Media
Research Center.
To find out more
about Brent
Bozell III, and
read features by
other Creators
Syndicate
writers and
cartoonists,
visit the
Creators
Syndicate Web
page at
www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT
2008 CREATORS
SYNDICATE INC.
