Thanksgiving Fun

Well, here it is almost Thanksgiving and you know what that means. All the really great Christmas gifts are already sold out.

November is a great month for poultry. While we're eating our Thanksgiving turkey, our lame-duck Congress will be giving the country the goose.

Thanksgiving is when we all count whatever blessings we have left after taxes.

Thanksgiving is when Americans stop and count their blessings usually during official time outs.

I never met a turkey I didn't like.

What do atheists do on Thanksgiving, join hands around the table and say, "Thank you, Paine-Webber?"

I always know when my relatives are coming for Thanksgiving. My wife gets out the sterling silver trough.

The last time my brother-in-law came for Thanksgiving dinner, the turkey got up and left the table.

Last year we invited a couple of vegetarians for Thanksgiving. They sat around wearing black arm bands mourning the turkey.

I came from a very large family, and we had to have a BIG turkey. I'll never forget, when mom finished stuffing it, the kids always fought over who got to lick the shovel.

Well, since I'm trying to get off on Thanksgiving Day, I'd better go butter up the boss. In other words, I have to go baste the turkey.

The mother turkey is yelling at her kids. She says, "You kids should be ashamed! If your father could see you now he'd roll over in his gravy!"

My wife cooks the turkey in a very unusual way. We have our choice of dark meat or cinders.

My wife's cornbread dressing is just like the dressing my mother made -- in 1957!

Things I'm especially thankful for:
• I don't have to worry about my yacht sinking.
• After dinner, all my relatives will go home.
• That I wasn't a cave man. Can you imagine the week after Thanksgiving? Every day the same thing leftover sabre-tooth tiger!

At the first Thanksgiving they played a game called "Bag the Turkey." We still play a similar game except now the turkey is a quarterback.
....Of course, when the Pilgrims lined up in a shotgun formation, they used real shotguns.

The Pilgrims and the Indians had different ways of keeping warm. The Indians had blankets the Pilgrims had Priscilla Alden.

The first Thanksgiving ended with another first: The Pilgrims and the Indians participated in America's first formal interracial burp.