My wife's about ready to begin spring cleaning. I heard her on the phone yesterday
trying to rent a bulldozer.
Spring is that time of year when everything begins to blossom and grow -- except
what you planted.
Hey, I just saw the first sign of spring -- a doctor carrying golf clubs.
I can tell it's spring. The neighborhood kids are smoking peat moss.
You know it's spring when the crabgrass starts peeking through the snow.
Yeah, spring is here. I know it and you know it. The question is -- does winter know
it?
Ah yes, in spring a young wife's fancy gently turns to thoughts of having a garage
sale.
My wife gets carried away with spring cleaning. I mean, she even scrapes the jelly off
the roof. Takes the TV apart and dusts the diodes. Washes the ice cubes.
It's spring cleaning time again. Time for that annual illicit affair with Mr. Muscle.
Yes, it's spring cleaning time again. But first, you have to get organized. Make a
list:
 |
Monday: Spray a strong amonia cleaner under the sink. Then you can feel confident
you have clean cockroaches.
|
|
Tuesday: Wash one window. If you wash all the windows people
will think you're trying to sell the house.
|
|
Wednesday: Either clean the top of the
refrigerator or plant tomatoes on it.
|
|
Thursday: Clean the oven. Be sure to scrub away
ALL the oven cleaner -- unless, of course, you LIKE hallucinagenic meatloaf.
|
|
Friday: Take the day off; you've done enough for one week.
|
|
Saturday: Nobody cleans on Saturday.
|
|
Sunday: Pray for your baseboards.
|
Ah yes, it's spring. It's time for all those flowers you planted not to come up.
Spring is the season when bears come out of hibernation and skiers come out of
traction.
Yes, it's time for spring house cleaning. And when we finish with the house let's not
forget the Senate.
We just finished our spring cleaning. We removed all the junk from the attic and put it
in the garage, and we took all the junk from the garage and put it in the attic.
A perfect spring day is when your wife is out of town and the lawn mower is broken.
It must be spring. The boss's secretary is in bloom.
