[The following series have received the coveted Golden Mud Award for excellence in radio weather programming.]

     Now, another enlightening installment in our award-winning series, "How to Decide Whether to Move South for the Winter:"

     * Examine the nearest woolly bear caterpillar. If his black belt is wider than usual, either it's going to be a long, hard winter or he is a karate expert.

     * An extremely cold winter is indicated if Al Roker grows a beard or the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders stop shaving their legs.

     * A white partridge perched high in a tree indicates a heavy snow is coming. A terrible blizzard is coming if the partridge is wearing flannel pajamas.

     * The thicker a skunk's coat, the colder the winter will be. Sometimes, though, even a thin skunk's coat may mean a cold winter, because after you measure the skunk's coat, your family may not let you back in the house.

     * A groundhog getting married is real trouble.

     * The thicker Brooke Shield's eyebrows, the colder the winter.

     * A squirrel wearing a mink coat does not necessarily indicate a rough winter. It could indicate successful cross-breeding.

     * The broader the smile of a gas company executive, the colder the winter.