Comedy Calendar - February 9

Comedy Calendar

February 9, 2010

This day in 1840 was Queen Victoria's and Prince Albert's wedding day. But Victoria broke out in a rash, which her doctor said was the measles, so the wedding was cancelled. Then another doctor said it wasn't the measles, so the wedding was on again. By bedtime Victoria was so exhausted she went to sleep on the couch. So Albert broke out in a rash.

On this date in 1933 the temperature dipped to 66 degrees below zero at Yellowstone National Park. That was the day Smokey the Bear was arrested for starting a forest fire.

Born on this day in 1866: Indiana newspaper humorist, George Ade. Even more famous was his son, Gator.

The "horsecycle" was patented on this day in 1869. It was a metal horse with wheels and you could pedal it all over town, if you had the nerve.
And if you think it was a dumb idea you probably wouldn't enjoy riding a mechanical bull, either.

Actress Mia Farrow is 65 today. Mia was married to Woody Allen, who is now married to Mia's daughter. That makes Mia both Woody's ex-wife and his mother-in-law. Something tells me the SWAT teams stay on alert during the family reunions.

Actress Mia Farrow is 65 today. She was married to Frank Sinatra. It was terrible. Every time she’d tell him he forgot to put the toilet seat down, he’d sing "I Did It My Way.

Mia's worst birthday was her 47th. She was still married to Woody Allen then. Woody was so neurotic, to reduce the risk of fire at the party, he made her blow out one candle 47 times.

The first striptease occurred on this day in 1893 when a French model took it all off at the Moulin Rouge in Paris. Ironically, on this same day in 1914 stripper Gypsy Rose Lee was born in Seattle. Just thought I'd throw in a little buff history for all you history buffs.

William Henry Harrison, the 9th U.S. president, was born on this day in 1841. Harrison contracted pneumonia during his inauguration and died after serving only 32 days in office. Of all U.S. presidents, he made the fewest mistakes.

Ed Sullivan introduced the Beatles to U.S. television on this day in 1964. American parents thought the group was crude, outrageous, loud, and had no talent at all. In other words, they were a smash hit.

The Atlanta Board of Education outlawed the teaching of the theory of evolution in city schools on this day in 1926. Teaching that man evolved from monkeys was offensive to the politicians, some of whom had not evolved yet.

The last of the great misogynist Western sidekicks died on this day in 1969. Gabby Hayes loved horses and hated women. Nowadays he'd be just weird enough to have a hit video.
If he wore his longjohns over his chaps.

Gabby Hayes, the last and best of the misogynist Western sidekicks, died on this day in 1969. Misogynist means he hated women. I always wanted to see him in a spaghetti western with Sophia Loren. If he could hate her for 90 minutes he would have won an Oscar.

St. Appolonia died on this day in the year 249. For refusing to renounce her faith, a mob of heathen punched her teeth out. And because Appolonia had her teeth knocked out, she is the patron saint of hockey players.

     Queen Victoria married Prince Albert on this day in 1840. When Albert slipped the ring on her finger, all the bells in London rang out and Victoria got a headache.
     Honest. On their wedding night, Victoria slept on the couch while Albert got drunk. The next day he had a headache.
     In fact, Albert had a headache the rest of his life.

On this day in 1840 Queen Victoria married her cousin. And just for the record, that's the only thing Queen Victoria had in common with Jerry Lee Lewis.

The horsecycle was patented on this day in 1869. The horsecycle was actually a bicycle that looked like a horse. The inventor gave up on the idea one day when he was pedaling his horse down the road and a real horse fell in love with it.

Cowboy actor Gabby Hayes died on this day in 1969. Gabby was everybody's sidekick, always #2. He was never expected to sit tall in the saddle or do a wheelie on his horse.

The Beatles appeared on "The Ed Sullivan Show" on this day in 1964. One look at the Beatles and women would swoon and scream. I always wanted a woman to scream excitedly when she saw me. And it finally happened when my wife saw me walking across her freshly mopped kitchen floor.

Ecdysiast Gypsy Rose Lee was born on this day in 1914. An ecdysiast is a creature that strips off or sheds an out layer or covering of skin or crust or something. If the creature gets paid for it, it's usually clothes.

The 9th U.S. president, William Henry Harrison, was born on this date in 1773. He died just one month after being inaugurated. His opponents didn't even have time to attack his policies, so they censured him for dying.

On this date in 1964 the Beatles appeared on "The Ed Sullivan Show," the first of thousands of rock singers with long hair and pegged pants. They still have long hair, and we're lucky if they wear pants.