At 95, George lived in an apartment alone, rebuffing all urgings by his children to move into an assisted living facility.It was only when they found that their father had left his gas stove on that they realized it was time to take action.
After scrambling to find a place that had an opening, they succeeded in relocating dear old Dad by inviting him out for a drive that ended up at his new address. Then, as often happens, once he was settled among his own belongings, he agreed his life was easier.
There's no right or wrong time to start thinking about the future when you no longer can take care of yourself, or someone you love, without help.
Some couples, especially those who don't want to be a problem for their children, initiate this discussion as they enter their 60s or 70s or later.
But it's not easy.
There is a bewildering array of choices: Do you choose an apartment or small home in a senior living community? An apartment in a community where there are a range of choices, including an assisted living facility and a nursing home as needed?
One of the largest dilemmas focuses on how to know which living situations provide quality care.
The federal government has now come up with an online list of available nursing homes. The list evaluates the facilities in each state. They include nursing homes, paid for by state Medicaid programs, or private nursing homes. The federal medical insurance program, Medicare, does not pay for long-term nursing home care.
However, Medicare does evaluate nursing homes on its Web site, www.medicare.gov. Compare nursing homes in your area. Click on geography, city, county, ZIP code or by nursing home name.
Here's how it works:
1. Let's say you want to find out what's available in Wyoming, which has 39 nursing homes. The site lists the homes by name and gives you practical information about them, such as how many nurses and practical nurses they employ along with the number of residents.
2. Facilities that aren't up to Medicare standards are flagged by the initials SFF, for "special focus facilities" - with a brief idea of where they are lacking.
3. If you want further information on an SFF home, check the box next to its name, scroll to the bottom of the page and click on "View all information." Checking whether a particular place is reputable isn't the only consideration that goes into making a nursing home choice, of course.
As a first step, it's wise to include the people whose future is involved in the process. This can make such a move more palatable to them and, therefore, easier for you.
It also helps to consider current interests in making a choice. Animal lovers, for instance, will be more willing if they can take a pet with them (a few facilities allow this) or if there is a program where volunteers bring pets for visits.
Expense is a major factor. Facilities that include a variety of choices from single-family homes to assisted living and nursing home facilities are more expensive than nursing homes alone.
Nursing homes can cost $80,000 a year, or more, in many parts of the country. Some of the more luxurious ones may require a nonrefundable down payment along with the monthly charges.
Resources: www.medicare.gov; www.aarp.org/families/housing_choices; www.ericksoncommunities.com.
E-mail Joe Volz at volzjoe2003@yahoo.com, or write to 2528 Five Shillings Road, Frederick, MD 21701.
