Dear Doug: Golden Anniversary Party Time

2009-08-24

Q: My wife and I will celebrate our 50th anniversary with our children and friends in October. I want to express to my wife how much I love her. I am nervous about my speaking and want to keep it short, humorous and not boring. How can I do that?

A: Congratulations! Not many couples are as blessed. First, thank your guests for coming to the party and introduce your primary family and special guests.

Next, thank your wife for being your partner and lover for 50 years. Tell your story, including how you met and fell in love. These comments will inspire others in their marriage. What have been the greatest moments during your marriage? Remind everyone the most important thing a father can do is to love his wife.

For humor, quote Phil Barry's definition: "Love: Two minds without a single thought." Remind the group your wife had more than one baby because she forgot about the first time. Remember the time your wife said, "Do you see how passionate that couple is kissing? Why don't you do that"? Your response was "I don't know her well enough!"

A few other one-liners could be: "We take bets on which part of our bodies will conk out next. The creative use of a hearing aid allows me to hear only what I really want to. A long marriage allows me the perfect excuse to forget things. Our strength lies in our differences, not in similarities. When the going gets tough, I call my wife for backup. 'Dear, do not expect the first few meals to be great. It takes time find the best restaurants.' I hold my wife's hand in public so she won't run away."

Close with a toast to your wife such as "I have known many, but have loved only one."

Invite her to your side and give her a surprise gift. It can be something she always wanted, such as a set of new car keys. This party can lead to a 60th anniversary!

Q: My wife and I are concerned about the possible intrusion of bar coding or "personal tattoo" into our bodies. We recently adopted a cat at the pound and were asked if we would like them to place an identify chip in her fur to help locate her should she get lost. We are also learning about the implanting of our health records in our arm. Should we worry?

A: Remember "1984" by George Orwell, published in 1949, which popularized the concept of "Big Brother"? Now, 60 years later, the technical ability to share personal information bodily is becoming a reality.

Obviously, there are pluses and minuses. For example, to expedite emergency health treatment or to locate an Alzheimer's patient, scanning a chip could prove to be a lifesaver! Scientists are even rapidly moving to encoding plant life and the movement of animals.

Permission and how personal information can be accessed and used is under evaluation. The bottom line is your control. Do you prefer a dual identity such as Paul, or to be simply known as 12-719-8053-611-811? It will be a little scary if the chip includes an expiration date!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life after work in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.