One thing I've learned from the congressional campaign: This country is not ready for self-government.

     Election Day, the day we decide who to blame for the next tax increase.

     Sometimes I feel so inept. Like when there's a baseball player worth $250 million, and I can't remember his or her name.

     Do you realize what's happening right now in this country? Politicians are spending millions of dollars to tell us how they're going to cut down on spending.

     Have you noticed? Ninety percent of all newspaper health care coverage is in the business section.

     Remember, with increasing rush hour traffic, if you drive to work before 5:00 a.m. you might make it on time.

    Today's heavy thought: If they closed all the Wal-Marts, would there be any traffic?

    Assault weapons shouldn't even be legal in a war.

     I figured it up. The average North American spends seven months of his life watching beer commercials.

     Oprah's show should have a warning label. "Caution: Excessive tears may cause your picture tube to mildew."

     Oh, and we must never forget Rush Limbaugh, "The Mouth That Snored."

     Actually, when you think about it, underneath their clothes everybody's going around nude.

     At one time I thought about getting into law enforcement. Of course, that was back when they enforced it.

     The worst thing about political campaigns is that somebody has to win.

     So, is Hamas a religious group or a terrorist group? No group can be both.

     After watching all those TV commercials, I now believe all personal injury lawyers are shysters beyond a reasonable doubt.

     New research shows that the more children watch TV beer commercials, the more likely they are to become drinkers. Duh! No kidding.

     It's better to be poor than to be rich. The rich always have to fear becoming poor, but the poor never have to fear becoming rich.

     Research shows that teenagers who watch lots of TV and music videos are more likely to start drinking alcohol. Hey, who can blame them?

     Does the public still own the public airways, or have we sold them to the porn producers and drug dealers?
     Or are we too busy with other things to even care?

     Could it be that the people who have the least to say are the ones we should listen to?

      Ever wonder if other countries have to depend on political campaigns for their entertainment?

     I never get tired because I rest a lot in advance.

     Anything on sale would not be on sale if anybody wanted it.

     Why is it that when you search the Web for a right answer, you always get 896-thousand wrong ones?