Wouldn't it make more sense to pick up the trash along the highways before they mow over it and chop it into millions of pieces?

     Walking through the cosmetics department with all those dazzling fragrances leaves me over-dazzled.

     Those $400 computers don't have a monitor, and those are the least frustrating kind.

     I believe every word in the Bible from Genesis to maps.
     And when I have time I'm going to read it.

     It's hard to understand. Are the people driving really slow every morning afraid they'll be early for work?

     Doctors' waiting rooms are always full of sick people. You sit there for hours, hoping you don't get "the catch of the day."

     Is Osama bin Laden's headpiece a turban or a bandage?

     Why do all terrorists look like they might have fleas?

     No matter what the U.S. does, Boris Yeltsin always seems to sober up long enough to put in his two rubles worth.

     Republican morality does not include forgiving Democrats. And vice, of course, versa.
     So, in reality, there's no such thing as political morality.

     Isn't it about time somebody small tried to fly around the world on a goose?

     Fortunately, this year we couldn't find enough relatives on speaking terms to hold a family reunion.

     Manufacturing nerve gas takes a lot of cowardice.

     I don't mind moving furniture now and then, but I really hate rearranging the trees in the front yard.

     Even if you leave everything to your kids, you can't be sure they'll keep up the payments.

     It's the American way: you always get an annual physical whether you need one or not, and your doctor always charges an arm and leg whether he needs them or not.