Do you think there's a secret police force that
goes around checking on who's tapign ball games without the express written permisison of
Major-League Baseball?
What is the correct
psychiatric diagnosis for a person who tapes the home shopping channel?
Dieting doesn’t bother me at
all. As long as my wife does it. When I’m not at home.
Today's Question
Crying Out For An Answer: If we can't do something to stop the rash of red light runners,
will we have to install railroad crossing gates at every major intersection?
These days, with
medical schools reporting a surplus of cadavers, your body's not worth much more than your
opinion.
So, does the term
"gubernatorial candidate" mean that anyone who runs for governor is a
"goober?"
Okay, if I can't
choose my own HMO doctor, in the waiting room can I at least choose my own magazine?
Don't you think a lot people
would tune in a big TV special for animal lovers that featured Bob Barker caponizing Big
Bird?
Where do
those lawyers come from that advertise on TV? They look like the kind of guys who would
"pass Go" and try to collect $400!
Why shouldn't
right-wing Republicans try to gain power by emphasizing the family? It worked for the
Mafia.
Anybody who'd wear a
tongue stud would also probably buy an onion Popsicle.
So when the stock market plunges 200 points, where does that money go?
Into safer investments like lottery tickets?
Fantasy Football --
that's when you think you can afford tickets to the game.
The stock market
plunge is scary. Republicans may have to sail their old yachts another year.
Most Americans are out of shape
because the only thing they ever exercise is their rights.
