Some things just don’t add up in this country. We have world class skaters who
are 14 years old, 16-year-old tennis stars, 21-year-old golf champions ... and senators in
the nineties!
What we need is an award show for celebrities who are not recovering alcoholics.
Nobody ever listened
to reason during an election campaign.
So, who thinks
George W. will choose brother Jeb as his running mate?
And brother Neil can be Secretary of the Treasury if he keeps his
mouth shut.
Does it make it
sense to interrupt a local TV newscast to promote the same local TV news department?
Isn't that a great opportunity to check out another station's
news?
It's been a
disappointing year. I was so hoping that Janet Reno and Kenneth Starr would investigate
each other.
Did
somebody say, "Shut up about McDonalds?"
The easier something
is to prepare the less a husband likes it.
There’s so much drug abuse in the
NFL, maybe all the games should be played at Mile High Stadium.
How can a person be expected to
get to work on time when the doughnut shop is always on the other side of the street?
This just in. A group of
terrorist dieters reportedly has kidnaped Richard Simmons and stuffed hot fudge, Rocky
Road, and Cool Whip down his throat.
Today’s intriguing question.
Do you suppose Bill Gates ever buys lottery tickets?
Okay, so has anybody ever seen a
fast-food burger that looks as good as the ones in the TV commercials?
Obviously, on TV they use professional superburgermodels.
Since age 13 is the
critical year in the fight against drug use, can we just send all 13-year-olds to their
rooms for a year?
If we pay off the ACLU?
I hate to be the
bearer of bad news, but since fashions always cycle, it's about time again for women to
start wearing parachutes.
If 44% of U.S.
college students have a serious alcohol problem, let's face it, the beer lizards are
winning.
North Korea has
long-range missiles. And if their people can find them, they'll eat them.
