Q: Your baby turkeys won't eat.
Should you: (a) set an example by pecking at the mash yourself; (b) call a
pediaturkeytrician; or (c) drop some marbles into the feed? A: Turkey farmers say #c works. The baby turkeys will
peck at the marbles and accidentally get enough mash to stay alive until they learn to
eat.
Q: Which
birds have been trained to tend sheep: (a) turkeys; (b) geese; or (c) guineas? A: Geese.
Q: You know your
monkey is normal if he's: (a) near-sighted; (b) far-sighted; or (c) cross-eyed? A: Almost all monkeys are near-sighted.
Fun Fact: The absolute
favorite thing of any dog is a weed called Stinking Goose Foot, sometimes called
"dognip." It smells really awful.
Q: Rabbits love
your garden. Should you: (a) make a large scarerabbit; (b) pray for a garden angel to
guard your garden; or (c) next year plant two rows of onions around it. A: Rabbits hate the smell of onions. The Old
Farmer’s Almanac says an onion fence will keep them away.
Fun Fact: The first
bird domesticated by man was the goose.
Q: Which dog has the best
eyesight: (a) Chihuahua; (b) doberman; or (c) greyhound? A: The Greyhound, better than any other dog.
Fun Fact: The average
canary has about 2,200 feathers.
Q: Since all prairie dogs
look alike, even to other prairie dogs, to tell each other apart, do they: (a) sniff each
other; (b) kiss each other; or (c) talk to each other? A: They kiss, during which they grope each other for
familiar physical signs.
Q: Your pet rabbit’s
ears sometimes go limp while he’s sleeping. Does this mean: (a) he’s totally
relaxed; (b) he’s anticipating a hard day tomorrow; or (c) he’s dreaming? A: He’s dreaming (columnist L.M. Boyd).
Q: You have a serious
wasp problem in your backyard. Should you: (a) stay inside until January; (b) surf the
Internet for a waspinator; or (c) hang a margarine tub full of sugar-water with a small
hole in the lid in a tree? A:The Old Farmer’s Almanac says #c will make
you pro wasp trapper.
Q: You just opened your
cat’s favorite food. How fast can he run to get there: (a) 20 miles an hour; (b) 30
miles an hour; or (c) 40 miles an hour? A: The average cat can hit 30 miles an hour for a short
distance. Your cat may vary.
Q: Which bar of soap is
most like a porcupine: (a) Irish Spring; (b) Ivory; or (c) Dove? A: Ivory. All porcupines also float.
Q: According to the American
Kennel Club, was the most popular pedigreed dog in the U.S. last year the: (a) German
shepherd; (b) rottweiler; or (c) Labrador retriever? A: The Lab. Next, in order: rottweiler, shepherd, golden
retriever, poodle, beagle, dachshund, cocker spaniel, Yorkie, and Pomeranian.
Q: Your rooster was born
deaf. To teach him to crow, should you: (a) send him to a school for hearing-impaired
poultry; (b) while he watches your lips, repeat the phrase "cock-a-doodle-do" 24
times a day; or (c) do nothing? A: Fret not. Even roosters born deaf can still crow
without training.
Q: According to
lobsterologists, does the lobster always enter his or her burrow: (a) head first; (b)
sideways; or (c) tail first? A: Tail first.
Q: Your canary has quit
singing. Should you: (a) never play another Yoko Ono album; (b) get him a canaryfriend; or
(c) put him next to a running water faucet? A: Canary musicologists recommend #c.
Q: Is the horned lizard,
once sybolic of Texas, now illegal even to touch because it may carry: (a) leprosy; (b)
tuberculosis; or (c) malaria? A: Malaria. Scientists at Texas A&M say other Texas
lizards also may have it.
Fun Fact: The average mosquito has 47 teeth.
Q: You hate having ants
inside your house. Should you: (a) leave out a saucer of syrup so they’ll get really
fat and can’t run from you; (b) get an anteater; or (c) squirt a little lemon juice
along the bottoms of doors and on window sills? A:The Old Farmer’s Almanac says #c will repel
ants.
Q: When he
gets bored, your dog chews on his paws. Should you: (a) enroll him in group therapy; (b)
make him wear mittens; or (c) dab a little oil of clove on his favorite nibble spot? A:The Old Farmers Almanac says oil of clove
discourages nibbling dogs.
Q: Would you be more
likely to see honeybees on your dandelions at: (a) 9:00 a.m.; (b) 1:00 p.m.; or (c) 4:00
p.m.? A: At 9:00 a.m. At 1:00 p.m. they’re calling on your
red clover. Apparently, certain blossoms release more nectar at certain hours.
B: Do chickens go to bed
early because: (a) there’s nothing on TV that chickens like; (b) they get up early;
or (c) chickens can’t see at night? A: Chickens have really terrible night vision.
Q: Has duck research at
Indiana State University shown that sleeping ducks: (a) snore; (b) keep one eye open; or
(c) quack in their sleep? A: Ducks on the outer edges of a group sleep with one eye
open. Those in the center of the group confidently close both eyes.
Q: Do spiders never get
caught in their own webs because: (a) they’re extremely brainy bugs; (b) they have
oily legs; or (c) they have glassy feet that won’t stick to the webbing? A: Spiders have self-oiling legs.
Q: If your rhino has two
horns, you know it’s: (a) female; (b) from India; or (c) from Africa? A: Two horns=India; one horn=Africa.
Q: The vet says your
Peekapoo needs an emergency appendectomy. Should you: (a) ask if they accept Peekapooky
General medical insurance; (b) call the Peekapoolice; or (c) approve the surgery? A: Dogs don’t have appendixes, but your
Peekapoo may vary.
Fun Fact: There are more
chickens in the world than people.
Q: Is the largest
snake: (a) the boa constrictor; (b) the anaconda, or (c) the python? A: The anaconda sometimes reaches 40 feet long. Pythons
grow to about 35 feet. Boas come in third.
Q:
According to research at the University of Chicago, not only do birds dream, but they
dream about: (a) other birds; (b) worms; or (c) songs they sing during the day? A: Birds dream about their songs, have dream rehearsals,
and sing the same songs better the next day.
Goat Truth: Goats
do not eat tin cans. They merely nibble at them for the tasty glue on the labels.
Q: You
have decided to go into the lucrative sheep cheese and yogurt business. Will you want to
import dairy sheep from: (a) Argentina; (b) Germany; or (c) Nigeria? A: East Friesians are the world’s most productive
dairy sheep, just as Holsteins are the most productive dairy cows. Both come from the same
region of Germany.
